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Title: Archer's Arrow
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Pairing: Rodney/OFC
Rating: NC-17
Author's Notes: Before I discovered Atlantis slash I played around with an idea that had Rodney 'get the girl'. This is what my muse finally forced me to write. This starts about 6 months after the events in Trinity.
Summary: When someone from John's past shows up in Atlantis, will she force him to choose between his friendship with Rodney and her?

Angela's POV:

The sound of my palm connecting with his face echoes loudly through the gate room, causing everyone to stop what they're doing and stare at us. My fingers tingle as fire explodes from the tips all the way up to my shoulder. I barely refrain from shaking the pain from my hand, settling instead for clenching and unclenching my fist.

We stare at each other in shocked silence for several seconds while a vivid red imprint of my hand blossoms on his left cheek before his brows snap down in a frown of anger and he growls, "Apparently we understand each other perfectly." He then spins on his heels and stalks from the room.

The onlookers quickly step out of his way, and those not fast enough get shoved roughly to the side.

"What the hell is going on here?" an outraged voice yells from behind me.

Elizabeth. I squeeze my eyes closed in horror. For her to lose her composure enough to cuss means she is beyond pissed, and heads are gonna roll.

I slowly turn to face her, unconsciously cradling my sore right hand in my left. "Liz," I start to explain.

"Don't you 'Liz' me, Dr. Archer," she interrupts.

I know I'm in deep shit when she calls me 'Dr. Archer' instead of just 'Archer'.

"Dr. Weir," I start again. "I humbly apologize for my unprofessional behavior just now."

"Not accepted. Go see Carson to make sure you didn't break anything and then I expect a full accounting." The look she gives me tells me that she'll accept nothing less than the whole truth.

"Yes, ma'am," I mumble before turning and heading to the infirmary, blinking back tears of pain and anger. How dare he!?

"What can I do for you, Angela?" Carson asks when I step into his office.

"Elizabeth sent me," I answer.

One brow makes its way up his forehead. "Why?"

"I slapped McKay," I reply.

"And she wants to make sure you didn't hurt your hand," he makes it a statement not a question but I nod my answer anyway. "Did you hurt your hand?"

I mimic his raised brow. "What do you think?"

He chuckles. "Of course not, lass."

"So you'll tell Liz that I'm fine?"

"Of course," he responds and shoos me out of his office with a wave of his hand.

My foul mood deepens as soon as I step back into the hall. I make my way to the mess to get a bowl of ice, have to keep up appearances after all, before stomping back to my room.

I slowly submerge my hand in the ice, knowing that John's on his way and he'll expect to see me icing my hand.

"Care to enlighten me as to why two of my scientists put on a show for the whole gateroom today?" Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, head of the military on Atlantis and my best friend, demands as he enters my room unannounced.

"I should really change the lock on that door," I reply in lieu of answering his question.

I know why he's here and I don't care to discuss it with him.

"Angela," he says through gritted teeth.

"No?" I turn the word into a question, biting my lip and trying to avoid the topic of my embarrassing behavior.

He makes a rough sound in the back of his throat. "Wrong answer. Try again."

I throw my most intimidating glare his way, which he just ignores, before snapping, "Go ask him!" with a wave of my hand towards the door.

"I'm asking you!" he yells back. "Besides, somehow McKay managed to get Atlantis on his side and I can't get around the locks on his lab door," he grumbles, sitting down in the chair across from me and crossing his arms over his chest.

A brief smile flashes across my face at the childish note in his tone.

"Now tell me, Archer," he orders, leaning forward to pick my hand out of the ice water so he can examine it.

"Puppy…" I try to avoid the issue by using my nickname for him.

"Don't 'Puppy' me," he tells me. "Liz is demanding both your heads, and I want to know why!"

"I slapped him," I grudgingly say with a sigh.

"Got that much from the gossip mill. What I don't know is why!" And now he's back to yelling at me.

"He insulted me," I reply, lifting my chin and giving a sniff of indignation.

"Yeah, well, Rodney insults everybody sooner or later. Gimme all of it. Now, Angela Marie Archer, or so help me I'll put you over my knee!"

My eyes go wide in surprise. He hasn't threatened me with a spanking in years.

"John," I plead.

One eyebrow makes its way up his forehead. "Now, Angela," he insists in his most authoritative voice.

"You sound like Dad," I mumble.

He gives a sigh of frustration before responding. "Angela…" If I don't fess up soon he'll make me wish my father was here instead of him.

Taking a deep breath, I try to get my thoughts in order. The fact that Rodney McKay and I have known each other for four years is not exactly a secret but then again neither one of us has gone out of our way to tell people. "This all started four years ago," I begin.

"Then just hit the highlights until you get to the here and now," he says.

"Fine," I give in. "Four years ago when I was working at the SGC he tried to kill Teal'c."

In the four months since I arrived in Atlantis I've told John everything I hadn't been able to for years, well, almost everything. I do have one secret that I can't share with him. He knows how I feel about the members of SG-1 in general and Teal'c in particular.

"Rodney McKay? Tried to kill a Jaffa?" he asks, disbelief heavy in his tone.

"He wasn't the man he is today, John," I sigh. "Back then he was a huge pain in the ass."

"He's still a pain in the ass," John chuckles.

"Yes, but back then he really didn't care what anyone thought of him."

"Hm. Okay. Continue," he urges with a regal wave of one hand.

I roll my eyes. "I was off-world, so I don't know all the details other than what Sam told me. She said that Colonel Simmons showed up shortly after Teal'c got stuck in the gate buffer with Rodney in tow."

"How'd he get stuck in the buffer?" John interrupts.

"The DHD was destroyed when an Al'kesh crashed into it just as Teal'c stepped through the event horizon. Caused the gate to shut down prematurely," I explain. "Colonel Simmons had been the head of the NID, a rogue agency that was more concerned with getting alien tech than securing new allies. He had Rodney say that Teal'c was as good as dead but that they could have forty-eight hours to try and rescue him," I can't keep the disgust out of my voice.

"I take it he was wrong?" John questions with a twinkle in his eye and a hint of a smile on his face.

"Very wrong. Doranda wrong," I reply, mentioning the planet that Rodney destroyed when he couldn't shut down the experimental Ancient weapon he'd reactivated.

"No need to get smug about it," John mutters, his brows lowered in a frown of disapproval.

I just smirk before continuing my tale. "He shot down each and every one of Sam's ideas. Said she didn't know enough about the gate because she spends too much time off-world. Even went so far as to accuse her, although indirectly, of being the one to cause the problem."


"He said it was because the dialing program she wrote by-passes problems that the DHD wouldn't. In the process of all this he managed to insult almost everyone who worked at the SGC at the time. Well, everyone who was there. Hammond had him sent to Russia after the team discovered that a DHD would indeed save Teal'c."

John blinks at me. "He got sent to Russia as punishment?"

I nod. "He deserved it. SG-1 and Hammond were watching a video of a Goa'uld explaining how they could connect a DHD to the gate without risking Teal'c and Rodney called Hammond an idiot for believing it. Plus Naquadah generator technology was part of the deal Daniel Jackson and Major Davis made with the Russians to 'borrow' their DHD. Since he works for the Air Force…" I shrug, leaving the rest of the sentence unspoken.

John gives a small whistle, then prompts. "So if you were off-world…?"

"They had all off-world teams return through the Russian gate before the DHD was transferred to the mountain. I've never been able to sleep on military transports so I hadn't slept for several days. When I arrived I decided to take a much-needed nap before my debriefing. He came tearing around a corner and literally knocked me off my feet. One minute I was dreaming about my nice soft mattress and the next I was staring up at this angry man."

"What'd he do then?"

"Stepped over me and snarled, 'Watch where you're going, Jarhead!' If I hadn't been so tired he wouldn't have been able to knock me down much less get away with insulting me like that. By the time my debriefing was over he was gone. I didn't see him again until I beamed down into the gateroom and saw him walking next to you."

"And?" he prompts again.

"Do we really have to go through this, Puppy?" I ask, slumping back in my chair.

The rest of the story is a bit personal, hell it's very personal, and not something I'm comfortable discussing with him.

"Yes, Doctor," he answers stressing my title. At least he didn't use my former rank. That always gets me to do what he wants.

I look away before continuing. "As you know, Rodney and I don't see eye to eye on anything." His snort interrupts me and has me glancing out the corner of my eye at him. "Well, two months ago we were in his lab arguing about some report I gave him. Turns out he…."

"I don't need to know why you were arguing two months ago unless that argument led to you slapping him today. As in you argued about it again."

"No, we did not argue about it again today."

"Then skip it," he orders, his voice taking on the hard edge of Atlantis' military commander.

"What happened next was right out of a Cheers episode. The one where Sam and Diane kissed for the first time," I continue. "We were arguing when all of a sudden he stepped back, got this confused look on his face and asked, 'Are you as turned on as me?' to which I replied, 'More,' before grabbing his lapels and going on an in-depth search of his tonsils."

John blinks at me, tilting his head to the side. "So you kissed. Big deal."

I'm having trouble meeting his eyes. "You really don't want to hear the rest of this."

"No, I really do," he insists, leaning forward so he can place a finger under my chin and force me to meet his gaze. "Angel, whatever it is, I'm sure I can handle hearing it. I'm a guy. Not much embarrasses us, you know."

I chew on my lower lip while I try to figure out how to get him to leave this alone. It soon becomes obvious that there is no other way than to tell him Rodney bent me over his lab table. "Fine. But remember, I warned you," I say before taking a deep breath and lying through my teeth. "When we broke for air, I dropped to my knees and undid his pants. I've never wanted to suck a cock as much as I did right then," I say baldly, watching a blush creep up John's neck. "He pulled me off as soon as my lips closed around the head of his dick. When he got me on my feet he gave me another spine-melting kiss before shoving my pants down to my ankles and turning me around so that my hands were braced on the table. He then proceeded to fuck me to within an inch of my life. I've never…"

"Stop!" he yells, placing his hands over his ears. "I don't need details, Angela."

"I tried to warn you," I remind him with a smirk.

He just glares at me. "So what happened today?"

I pick a piece of ice out of the bowl and rub it over my palm, pretending it still hurts, to buy myself some time before admitting my embarrassing lack of willpower. "As you know, today was the weekly status report to Earth," I begin, glancing up at him through my lashes. "Rodney wasn't present for it, not really sure why. He told Elizabeth and I to go ahead without him. After Liz and Landry had their talk, Cam asked to speak with me."

"Cam?" he asks.

"Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchell. Head of SG-1. When I was at the SGC before coming here we…hooked up."

"You couldn't have used that phrase to explain what you and McKay did in his lab!?" he demands.

"I was trying to get you to drop this," I reply with a wince.

John growls low in his throat. The last time he was this angry with me we didn't speak for years.

"Continue," he says through gritted teeth.

"Cam made a reference to one of our nights together and Rodney heard. Turns out he thinks I'm the base bike," I finish, my voice thick with barely suppressed anger.

"He what!?" John roars, jumping to his feet so fast his chair falls over. "I'll kill the bastard with my bare hands!"

His display of brotherly protectiveness makes me smile. "Sit down, John," I urge, tugging on the hem of his jacket until he picks up his chair and resumes sitting. "He sorta has a reason."

"Are you saying you are a slut?"

"No, but he does have that impression and I haven't exactly tried to discourage it."

"How did he get that impression?"

"I've been helping some of the people here and he usually shows up at my door as they're leaving. Since he hasn't asked me why these people are in my quarters I haven't seen any reason to tell him that it's all innocent."

John gives a world-weary sigh, flopping back in his chair and rubbing his eyes. "I wanted this post. I wanted this post," he mutters over and over.

I finally realize just how much harder I've made his job. "I'm so sorry, Puppy. Really I am," I apologize, regret sitting heavily on my shoulders.

"It's fine, Angel. We just have to figure out how to talk around this to Liz."

My brows furrow in a frown of confusion. "What?" I ask.

He drops his hand and looks at me. "Put yourself in Liz's shoes. Then think about what you just told me. How do you think she'll react to knowing that her CSO and a department head are having a lover's spat?"

"Lover's spat?" I sputter. "You have got to be kidding me!"

"That's what it sounds like from here."

"But that's not what this is!"

"Then how about we just tell her that since you skipped high school you decided to see what it was like to act like a teenager!" he's once again yelling at me. "Explain how I can make this look good, Angela," he demands, getting up from his chair to pace the length of my room.

"You can't," I whisper.

"Exactly," he hisses in my ear causing me to jump at the unexpectedness of it.

"So what do we do?" I ask.

"I'm not sure yet, but I'll think of something on our way to Liz's office," he responds, pulling me from the room and down the hall in the direction of the gateroom.

"John, you're hurting me!" I exclaim, pretending to try and pull my wrist from his grip. If I really wanted to I could but that would bring questions I can't answer.

He loosens his hold and I manage to remove my hand from his. The look on his face when he turns to face me has me swallowing hard and fighting the urge to turn and run.

"John, please don't make me go in there and tell her what I just told you," I beg but my plea falls on deaf ears.

He grabs my upper arm and force marches me through gate control and into Elizabeth's office.

"Nice of you to join us, Dr. Archer," Rodney snarks from his seat in front of Elizabeth's desk.

"Rodney." Both John and Elizabeth scold.

"What?" he demands, turning to look at where John and I are standing and I can see for the first time the damage I did to his face.

"Does it hurt?" I ask, unconsciously stepping toward him.

"Of course it does!" he shouts. "You ever been slapped across the face?"

His outburst has me blinking and stepping back to stand next to John again. "Can't say that I have."

"Well, then, let me tell you that it hurts like a bitch!"

"Rodney," Elizabeth warns him again.

"But she slapped me!"

"Doesn't matter. Take the high road for once, will ya?" John interjects.

Elizabeth settles back in her chair, her arms crossed over her chest and eyes both Rodney and me. "And now I want to know why you slapped him, Dr. Archer."

I chew my lip in an effort to stall and turn pleading eyes on John. He just shakes his head and gives me a look that tells me to get on with it. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly and then tell her "He made an inappropriate comment about my sex life."

"I don't feel it was inappropriate. Besides, I feel I have the right!" Rodney jumps in with a sniff.

"Since when does getting busy once in your lab give you the right to comment on her sex life?" John demands. "A subject which, by the way, is inappropriate unless you're in a relationship with her."

"Getting busy?" Rodney scoffs. "Is that what she told you?" he chuckles. "I might have gotten her off but I certainly didn't 'get busy' with her in my lab or anywhere else for that matter."

John turns to glare at me, his face contorted in anger. "Angela…" he begins threateningly.

"What?" I snap. "You wouldn't leave it alone!"

"You didn't have to lie to me!"

"Oh, ho. Trouble with the two best friends," Rodney sing-songs with a deep laugh.

"You little prick!" I growl, lunging at him. John grabs me around the waist and holds me back.

Elizabeth jumps to her feet and slaps her hands down on her desk. "Enough! The two of you have caused a scene two too many times."

I feel the blood drain from my face as I realize she's right. I had forgotten that her office has glass walls and overlooks the control room. Biting my lip, I sag back against John before apologizing. "I'm so sorry, Dr. Weir. I have no idea why he annoys me like he does."

"John." Elizabeth ignores my apology. "Do you have any suggestions for their punishment?"

"Only thing I can think of is doing what our parents used to do to us when we'd argue." John waves his hand back and forth between him and me.

"And that would be?" Rodney prompts.

"Make the two of you spend all your time together until you can get along."

"You must be crazy if you think I'm going to move in with that… that…" I falter to a stop when I notice the storm gathering on John's face.

"I think that's a good idea," Liz agrees. "But you should be around to make sure they don't kill each other," she tells John.

"Oh, joy." John's tone is so dry it's a fire hazard. "I get to play babysitter. Promise me, -" he pauses to look me square in the eye. "-that you won't be sneaking into Rodney's room during the night."

I'm stunned speechless by his crude joke. After a moment of staring open mouthed at him, I let loose with all my strength and shove him away from me. "Jerk!" I scream before turning and bolting out of the room.
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